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Can we apply the same line of reasoning to our argument and suggest that perhaps if we as Africans remain open to marrying people from other African countries, could we also have a stronger and united Africa?

An older woman asked me: “How many mixed cultured couples do you know who have grown old together?

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” True I didn’t know any mixed elderly couples, but perhaps this is because there is a greater diversity of Africans living in the diaspora than there were 30 years ago.

Furthermore, as a new generation embracing and becoming more comfortable with cultural differences, might not some of us become examples for future generations of the mixed-culture couples that lasted, if we last?

A session at the inaugural Abantu Book Festival made the links between violence, mental illness and creativity. To the woman’s relief, her interlocutor, let’s call her Auntie Ama, responded “No.” “Good, because we do not want her kind here,” the woman said.

To answer this question, you will need to explain to your grandmother about “queer theory”and the “diffusion”of human rights and “international instruments” that hold states “accountable” to “macro obligations.” Problem is, these terms and phrases mean nothing to her.

If you can communicate with someone in a language that you both feel comfortable with, it makes being with that person easier.

In Africa, those who speak the same language have a similar culture.Some responses: “Love is love.” Jennifer (23), Angolan “I would only prefer to date a Congolese man because we both understand each others cultures.The connection is just better because we can relate in many ways since we’ve had a similar upbringing.” Sarah (24), Congolese “I love my Ghanaian brothers, especially those who can speak my tribal language. Especially when telling jokes, it just doesn’t sound the same in English.” Nana (24), Ghanaian “I will be with anyone as long as they are compatible to me and I’m attracted to them. I’m British.” Christopher (28), Nigerian “As long as they are not Jamaican.” Bijoux (28), Congolese “Dating someone from your own background has far more positives than dating someone from another background, such as cultural understanding, speaking the same language etc. I’ve brought a Nigerian, Jamaican and Congolese home.I would prefer to date someone from the same country as me.It’s just easier.” Bridgette (25) Congolese “I don’t mind as long as I am happy and loved, that is all that matters.” Dora (28), Zimbabwe Immerse within your own culture What I found was that those who immersed themselves exclusively in their own culture (i.e mono-cultural churches, parties, gatherings) – even if they lived in a very mixed society abroad – were the ones who were adamant that it was easier and preferable to date within their own culture.Several readers, reviewers, writers and critics have recently responded to the release of Cameroonian novelist Imbolo Mbue’s debut novel, Behold the Dreamers. “Black people don’t get depressed” is a refrain heard in some white circles.

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